


A Mistake You Can't Change

by ThiefOfADHD



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-20 11:33:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15533322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThiefOfADHD/pseuds/ThiefOfADHD
Summary: Alternate ending to what happened after the Reynolds pamphlet was exposed





	A Mistake You Can't Change

Many men have done foolish things in their lives that caused pain throughout whomever they came into contact with. Many men have done foolish things through their lives that ended in those lives being taken away. And just like those many men, Alexander Hamilton knew that he was a special case.

The year was 1797 when Alexander, upon being secretly framed for embezzling government funds, published the Reynolds Pamphlet. A pamphlet which, throughout reading, explained how he had an affair filled with adultery with Maria Reynolds, the wife of James Reynolds, who only did so under direct orders of her husband for the man’s own greed. At only forty years old, Alexander had taken what he considered a ‘political sacrifice’ to avoid being blamed for a thing he didn’t do.

However, after the Reynolds Pamphlet, life grew worse and worse for him. His wife, Eliza, lost trust in him, her sister, Angelica, grew hateful of him in need to comfort Eliza, and all aside from his son had given up on him politically, or so it seemed to him. His son was prideful to be his son, to be a Hamilton, and that was all Alexander could see. Things were simply falling apart, and he felt as though if things kept like this, he’d be fully redeemable by death itself.

1799 brought the death of George Washington the 14th of December, a man that Alexander looked up to as a father figure that he never got to have. It wasn’t much, but the death hurt him and he refused to discuss it, besides, he was growing to being invisible in the public eye. 1800 brought the election between Thomas Jefferson and Aaron Burr, both of whom he didn’t particularly want to be in office, but alas, the federalists wanted his opinion on the issue, which his response was, in short:

“Mr. Jefferson, though too revolutionary in his notions, is yet a lover of liberty and will be desirous of something like orderly Government – Mr. Burr loves nothing but himself – thinks of nothing but his own aggrandizement – and will be content with nothing short of permanent power in his own hands – No compact, that he should make with any passion in his breast except Ambition, could be relied upon by himself – How then should we be able to rely upon any agreement with him? Mr. Jefferson, I suspect will not dare much Mr. Burr will dare every thing in the sanguine hope of effecting every thing –” (It continued on and such, however, this was only just an excerpt of it, knowing how Alexander is.)

This, with the presidential starting of Thomas Jefferson’s win, led upon the year 1801, which started out rather sore, with Alexander going to visit his sister-in-law, Margarita, after she had fallen ill back in ‘99 and worsened whilst he was on business in Albany. Upon her request, he stayed until her passing on the 14th of March. She had been the only sister he found to go to him to confide in, and now she was gone. He felt as though the two of them were rather close and tight-knit, and after her death, he wrote only a brief note to his wife, stating:

“On Saturday, my dear Eliza, your sister took leave of her sufferings and friends, I trust, to find repose and happiness in a better country.”

This, however, wasn’t the only tragedy to hit Alexander that year. That following autumn, within November, his eldest son, Philip, had gone to confide in him about a duel he was about to face. Fearful, Alexander aided his son in the practice of the duel – however, it didn’t help much. The 24th of November, after the duel, Philip died, and thus lead to Alexander’s current predicament.

Alexander had been writing for some time now, finishing up his last Will and Testament, his own apologies to his wife, and soon, he’d have to go get ready for bed. Eliza had been out for a small time, running a quick errand, which gave him the perfect opportunity to put this into effect. Once his ink had been dried, he took everything and folded it into a letter addressed to Eliza, placing it upon their bed before returning to his study, pulling the gun he had given his own son for his duel down to load it.

“Alexander?” Eliza called softly, entering their home quietly as she walked around. She couldn’t see the candlelight in his study, and with the bedroom door shut, she figured that he’d gone to bed in there. Turning the knob slowly, she expected he’d come to the door and say he was simply getting ready. She’d yet to grant him permission to sleep in their bedroom once again. She didn’t see him, only the still-lit candle on the nightstand and the sealed envelope on the bed. She grabbed it, and smudged the ‘A’ in her name. The ink on the envelope was still wet, almost as if it had been freshly applied. She carefully opened the envelope, pulling out the two pages concealed inside. The first one had been addressed to her, the second a last Will and Testament.

“My dearest Eliza, it has come to my attention that things are difficult, and so I have written this to help you through this. I love you more than life itself, and although I have harmed you with the suicide of our love with the suicide of my legacy, it pains me to do this to you. I fear that with all that has happened, and with nobody able to let me confide in them of my own needs, I cannot see any other way to solve the predicament I have dug myself into. I have written letters to colleagues explaining what has happened and to give any money they can to help you and the children out if it needed, including finances. I have written a final Will and Testament in which my possessions should be distributed. I love you so much, my dear, however I cannot live another waking moment knowing my mistakes will continue to demolish me.

Yrs for ever, Alexander Hamilton” 

Eliza dropped the papers and let out a loud scream of pain, collapsing onto the floor as tears flooded down her face. Upon her scream starting up, a loud gunshot was heard in Alexander’s office, and upon hearing it, she got up and ran. This couldn’t be happening. This was her Alexander, her husband, the man she so dearly loved. He couldn’t have done this, he couldn’t have.

She shoved the door to his office open, tears burning her eyes and making everything too blurry in the already too-dark room. Her heart racing and another scream falling through her lips.

“ALEXANDER!!”


End file.
